Friday, October 8, 2010

Belly at Large: Matchy-Matchy Outfit

Hello, home boys and girls,

Belly's back!
First of all, a disclaimer: I love Kanye and there's no doubt about it. His song "Stronger" spoke to my heart. But recently, Kan hasn't been the same anymore. Since last year's MTV's VMA, aka the "Listen, Imma let you finish but Beyonce had one a da bes' music video a' all time, all time!"

Then, last Saturday, I was watching Kanye on Saturday Night Live and found him singing not one but two songs in this same red outfit. My whiskers just dropped to the floor!

Like, come on, bro! What the heck was that? I know Mr. West has been into fashion and all but a red getup with a pair of red sneakers reminded me of a famous monster on Sesame Street. Btw, Whatshisface the blonde bear is a fan. Elmo, Elmo, Elmo! Yeah, that outfit looked like it came straight from the Elmo Collection out of Sesame Street. At least Kanye kept it classy and didn't show cleavage like some singer. Oh wait, he wasn't on Sesame Street. He was on SNL.

To add to the insult, Kan had to bunch up a whole lot o' gold filigree chains around his neck. Hello, Meryl Streep just called and she wanted her necklaces back!

Last but not least, where did he get those red sneakers? And please don't tell me Kan sprayed tan a pair of Air Jordan. I guess you got the gist. Belly did not approve the getup. It is ridiculous. Kanye could have done better.

Now, for those who want to keep the whole ensemble in the same color or color group, here's the way to do it. Yes, you are taking fashion advice from a cat. But this cat watches Tim Gunn on "Project Runway"*.

Wanna know how to work it? Jump!

1. Monochromatic works: look at me! Or better, look at Brad and Angie:

Keeping everything in the same color group will make you look very slim. But the trick is the color itself. Black, gray, dark navy, and occasionally, dark brown are good. Red, however, only works on certain individuals. Two examples are Maggie Q. and Blake Lively.

2. Use a variety of texture:
Don't just wear the whole grey cotton getup from head to toe. Who are you, a Buddhist nun? Seriously!

The above examples show you how to wear monochromatic without looking too severe (like Severus Snape, ha!) I know the people in the pictures are dudes but girls can do it, too. To keep it chic and classy, wear a satin black top with regular black pants. If you are daring, top things off with a biker-chic leather (or pleather if you love kids like moi) jacket. And voila, you will look tres chic without even trying!

3. Make sure things fit:
There's nothing more disastrous than wearing ill-fitted clothes. The monochromatic look requires a lot of suave and if the pieces don't fit well together, you'd better go home and change to something else.

There there, Kanye, don't be sad. I'm sure you meant well. It could have worked if you wore a black or even navy ensemble. Red is not your color, Kanye. With all that said, Belly does love the video and he thinks it looks like a painting. Now, it baffled Belly why Mr. West didn't wear something like in this video. Black does bring out his eyes, don't you think?

That's all for now kids! Belly needs to sharpen his claws and prepare for the weekend.

Love, peace, and tuna fish,
Mr. Belly (who dresses in monochromatic 4evah!)

*Note from Dao: I'm sure Belly watches "Project Runway" but he doesn't watch it when he's with me. Home boy probably has a laptop stashed somewhere that I don't know.

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