Friday, August 6, 2010

Belly at Large: Nicknames

Yo, home boys and girls!

The Belly of love is here. Did you miss me?

Woa, woa, woa! You're not supposed to see that! I'm just trying to squeeze in a post while doing some grooming on the side.
I guess I'm not such a multi-tasker after all. Oh well! By the way, that's not totally my fault. The mamarazzi turned on her laptop and played "Touch My Body." It's a set-up, yo! She put me in an awkward situation like Angelina Jolie in "Salt." So don't blame me, blame her. I'm a cat, what else am I supposed to do but touch my body with my tongue? FYI, it's called grooming.

Ok, enough with part 1 of the rant. La mamarazzi has been good. She decided to improve my quality of life by leaving me the heck alone and giving me yummy cat food. It's Surfin' and Turfin' from Friskies, just in case my fellow felines read my blog and wonder why I look so gorgeous.

However, the downside is the mamarazzi gave me a ton of nicknames. I know she's creative and all but a new nickname a day? Girl, pleezzze!

So far, she's called me:

  • Belly (duh!)
  • Bell-Bell: it's kind of like Brit-Brit but for cat. Tolerable.
  • Kitty
  • Piu-Piu: it's a Vietnamese nickname for cats. I think that's how her dad (aka il grandpaparazzi) called the cats in Vietnam. Cute but tolerable.
  • Meo: Vietnamese for cats. I'm multilingual, yo!
  • Home-kitty: restricted usage only to la mamarazzi. Other people dare to call me so will meet my claws of dead.
  • El Gato Supremo: 'nuff said
  • Belri neko-san: it's how Japanese people call me. The madness!
  • Raccoon: this is a degraded term to call me. I hate raccoons. They make me sick!
  • Bobcat: did she try to insult me? I know I'm big boned and all but bobcat? Seriously?
  • Coo-ger

What the snake is a "coo-ger"? Do I look like a coo-ger? I could not figure out what the mamarazzi talked about until I realized girlfriend has gone Southern. You see, in the South, people speaks kinda strange. They pronounce sugar "soo-ger". So with some reverse translation, I realized she just called me a cougar.

Cougar, you think?

But I like it. There's something about cougars that's so sexy. That's why they call older women cougars, I guess. So I winked at her. She can call me a cougar anytime.

My cougar pose :p
In conclusion, I'm still a cat but when I grow up, I want to be a cougar. Heck, if I were a female, I would probably be a cougar by now. Instead, I'm stuck with the mamarazzi and her makeup. Please support her store, yo. The more sales she makes, the better cat food I get. Yup, it's that simple!

Love, peace, and tuna fish,
Mr. Belly (aka Coo-ger!)

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